"I love to travel!" I have been saying this for years. I buy traveling journals and pin ideas of amazing places to visit. I have been to Indonesia and Iceland. I have traveled across the US with my kids. But "I love to travel!" is a lie. I don't really love it. I worry and make all sorts of excuses to not do it. I don't really think I dislike travel. Rather I dislike all the stuff that comes with travel. I don't like the unknown. I get annoyed easily on vacations because no one sticks to the script I have playing in my mind. Usually somewhere in the middle of the vacation, usually on a Wednesday, I crack. Crazy me comes to the surface, and I not only managed to screw up my vacation but everyone else with me. They actually still enjoyed themselves. They made amazing memories. I on the other hand moped around for the remainder of the trip. A year doesn't go by where someone in my clan doesn't share how I messed up the trip. I hope they pick up some grace before our next excursion. So what makes me think that 2020 will be different? How will I ever wrestle all these fears and worries? Own them, acknowledge them, and tame them. Maybe if I took myself a little less seriously on these vacations, others would as well. Here are one of my fears of vacationing (please remember that some of these are completely irrational).
Fears of Traveling:
Cancelled Flights
Lost Luggage
Sickness while traveling
Being attacked or eaten by an animal from said location.
Insects
Contracting a disease
Wednesdays (aka meltdown days)
Not being in control
Getting lost
Deep vein thrombosis
Bathrooms
Looking at the above list the rational side of myself is like, "Let it go. Enjoy yourself. Why worry about something you can't control?" The reality is that I can't control many of the things on the list. All I can control is my reaction. Honestly, that is what scares the crap out of me. My reaction. So with this new found knowledge that you can't change what you don't acknowledge, I am going to embrace traveling this year. I am going to work towards peace when it comes to how I show up for vacations. I am going to work to be more present and truly enjoy the experiences, people, cultures, food, and surroundings. I am going to stop making excuses to not go. January - March I plan on taking three vacations. Dallas, Las Vegas, California or Florida. I will be posting over the next few weeks specifically about these three destinations and my thoughts about each of them. Hop back on each Wednesdays to see where my wandering feet and mind will take me.