"Self Respect, Self Worth, and Self Love all start with 'Self.' Stop looking outside yourself for your value."
- Rob Liano
My goal was to write on finding self worth. In my research I kept coming across core values. I wasn't sure at first why? However, as I began to research more, I realized that our core values inform our self worth. If you travel, think of how difficult it is determining how much a new denomination of money is worth if you have no idea of it's value. Our self worth is tied into the knowledge of what we value at the core. So this concept of core values is super important when it comes to self worth. I took a moment yesterday to download a journal on core values from Monica Fredrick at
It started by asking me to reflect on when I felt happy, satisfied, and proud of myself in my personal and professional life. I am not going to lie. I struggled. Sadly, I felt distanced from times when I really felt content - let alone happy. But peeling back those layers really helped me to identify those times and the circumstances that allowed me to feel that way. Once I finished the reflection, it was on to determining my core values. There was a list of over a hundred words. I scanned the list and wrote down every word that resonated. I had to get 100% honest with myself. Not an easy task when you have been hanging out in b.s. for a considerable amount of time. I had to be careful to not choose words that reflected the "me" that others might perceive me to be. You see it is important that we understand who we are. We get to own ourselves. We need to be so careful in not letting others define us. I found a quote by Bill Masur that states, "The world will never value you more than yourself." So what ten values did I net from the exercise? Purpose, exploration, growth, connection, creativity, understanding, uniqueness, vision, contribution, significance. I spent a quarter of a century out of alignment with my core values. They would sneak in from time to time. I would get wind of their presence and shut them down before they got too big and took up too much space. In my early 20's I believed that finding truth and a level of contentment was my cue to let exploration and growth go. It was a tragic mistake as I reflect now. These are two of my highest core values. They could have served me well as I moved forward in my life. There was a time in my career that vision and contribution served me well. However, I didn't value it enough to nurture it. There is a definite time in my life that the values resided in me. I reflected them and my life was enriched by them (age 20-22). They lingered around until my mid 30's when I got scared and really began to shut them down. Something happened along the way that made me want to be small and not be seen. I began collecting a list of limiting beliefs. I was my own worst enemy in this regard,and I didn't put much worth into these precious values. This in turn chipped away at my self worth. So here I am at 45 desperately wanting to show up as the best version of myself. I am learning that this will only happen when I begin to embrace my values and start defining my own self worth. Finally, self worth can be enhanced through the practice of gratitude. We must be grateful for who we are and what we have. Carving out time each day for a gratitude practice can allow us greater insight. I have adopted writing my gratitude in a journal. It gives me something tangible to go back and look at. I have also seen the benefit of taking walks in which I verbalize my gratitude while walking. I look forward to sharing with you in my next blog post about how our thoughts and words can serve us well as we strive to become the best version of ourselves.
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