"Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen!"
- Brene Brown
When I read this quote, I knew that I had to use it to prompt my writing on courage. Let me start by stating that I am terrified of people seeing me. The real raw unfiltered me. I have been exhausted my entire life trying to be a version of myself that is easily digested by others. It was always my goal to just have people tolerate me enough that I didn't feel so incredibly alone. For those who know my enneagram number (I am a 4), you may know that 4's crave authenticity from others. It seems a little hypocritical that I guard my authentic self and am incredibly cautious when sharing who I am, or my thoughts, with the world. In the end it has left me cynical and anxious in many ways. But I am going to step into courage today and show up and let myself be seen by those who are reading this post. So here are the top ten things about myself,my core values, that make me who I am.
Purpose - I have always had a strong feeling that I was born for a specific purpose. I feel that this purpose is strongly connected to my desire to help others. I think that is why being an educator has always felt right to me. I also feel that bringing an element of beauty to my interactions and my physical space is also something others can benefit from.
Exploration - I love to explore ideas, feelings, emotions, as well as natural spaces. I love to take time take it all in. There is beauty in each of the above mentioned. I love to take time to contemplate on the many things I discover.
Growth - I can definitely say that stagnation has not served me well at all. I love the thought of growth. As an educator I continually push my students forward as they learn and develop their capacity for knowledge. As a student of knowledge myself, writing has been an incredible tool for me to gain insight.
Connection - I love finding the connections between things and people. I especially love to see the connections we have with others who are outside of where we live, our culture, religion, or personal philosophies.
Creativity - I would easily get bored as a child. This boredom sparked a wild imagination. This imagination fed my creativity. As I have grown older, I have reprimanded my inner child to stop with the foolishness of that wild imagination. But secretly I long for it again. I want to create like my ten year old self who did it to bring joy into her own life. If others liked it or enjoyed it, even better. But it fed her soul!
Understanding - I yearn to understand others. I love to contextualize things. I have a yearning to understand why people do what they do. I devour anecdotal stories that share perspective. I truly believe if we took a moment to try to understand what motivates others, we would all be in a better place.
Uniqueness - I love being one of a kind. I crave people to see the things about me that are special and make me a true individual. In turn I love to discover things that are unique.
Vision - I love seeing the big picture. From there I can break down things into smaller parts. I tend to think big and grand. I don't mind being told to reign it in. I feel I can be the person that at least pushes the envelope a little.
Contribution - I want to feel I have contributed something to the world. I don't want to arrive at the end of my life and feel that I missed out on making the world a better place. In a more specific way, I desire to contribute to projects, causes, work, and my daily interactions. The knowledge that I have helped others with my contribution is a core desire.
Significance - This goes back to the feeling of not wanting to be alone or seen as undesirable. This in turn makes me very empathetic to others who might be a considered undesirable. I tend to champion the underdog.
So there you go ten things about me that I don't always share with the world. Many people hear the word courage and think of people who jump out of airplanes. There is no denying that those things do take courage. But sometimes it is the little things like vulnerability that lay the foundations for us to be able to stand in our greatness and one day perform epic feats.
I am Christina. Visionary creative exploring ways to help others grow and connect while seeking opportunities to contribute to and understand those around me. At the end of the day feeling a sense that I do occupy a place of significance in this world and in the lives of those I hold dear.
Who are you?
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