"It takes courage to compliment not criticize; to see the good not bad; to create not destroy; to understand not judge." @dailygreatness
A compliment has been likened to a ray of sunshine. Like a smile, it is a gift that costs nothing to give. So why is it so difficult for some to take a compliment? And by "some" I am completely referring to myself. Several people have mentioned that I have a very physical response when one is given. I clench my jaw, look like a deer in headlights, and usually dismiss the complement with an awkward giggle. Just writing that makes me cringe. I believe the proper response is "Thank You". However, in the moment the complement is given, I am at a loss. I think it comes down to two things. Both being rather problematic. The first is that I may respond in the above mentioned way because honestly it doesn't align with how I see myself. Let's just call it low self esteem. I often feel that if people really knew me they would not extend the compliment. But does my perception of myself really constitute reality? I am beginning to think not. The second thing that might be happening is that I might see the person or the compliment lacking sincerity. Now this is a painful one to admit. It is sort of offensive that I would question the compliment at all. So here is where it really gets sticky and honestly doesn't make much sense. My love language is words of affirmation. Crazy right? I mean shouldn't I be basking in the compliments? I am wired to at least. When a compliment comes my way as a written note, I hold on to it. I read and re-read it. If the compliment is written on paper it seems so much more palatable for me. I feel that I need to start by complimenting myself. Maybe then it would be easier to accept them from others. It would be a confirmation of what I already believe in myself. It would take away the shock and allow me to be less guarded and tense when one comes my way. I am practicing the words "Thank You" in response.
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